Parenting or child rearing is the process of promoting and supporting the physical, emotional, social, and intellectual development of a child from infancy to adulthood. Parenting refers to the aspects of raising a child aside from the biological relationship.
The most common caretaker in parenting is the biological parent(s) of the child in question, although others may be an older sibling, a grandparent, a legal guardian, aunt, uncle or other family member, or a family friend.Governments and society may have a role in child-rearing as well. In many cases, orphaned or abandoned children receive parental care from non-parent blood relations. Others may be adopted, raised in foster care, or placed in an orphanage. Parenting skills vary, and a parent with good parenting skills may be referred to as a good parent.
Authoritarian parents are very rigid and strict. They place high demands on the child, but are not responsive to the child. Parents who practice authoritarian style parenting have a rigid set of rules and expectations that are strictly enforced and require rigid obedience. When the rules are not followed, punishment is most often used to promote future obedience. There is usually no explanation of punishment except that the child is in trouble for breaking a rule. This parenting style is more strongly associated with corporal punishment, such as spanking. "Because I said so" is a typical response to a child's question of authority. This type of authority is used more often in working-class families than the middle class. In 1983 Diana Baumrind found that children raised in an authoritarian-style home were less cheerful, more moody and more vulnerable to stress. In many cases these children also demonstrated passive hostility. An example of authoritarian parenting would be the parents harshly punishing their children and disregarding their children's feelings and emotions.
Permissive or indulgent parenting is more popular in middle-class families than in working-class families. In these family settings, a child's freedom and autonomy are highly valued, and parents tend to rely mostly on reasoning and explanation. Parents are undemanding, so there tends to be little, if any punishment or explicit rules in this style of parenting. These parents say that their children are free from external constraints and tend to be highly responsive to whatever the child wants at the moment. Children of permissive parents are generally happy but sometimes show low levels of self-control and self-reliance because they lack structure at home. An example of permissive parenting would be the parents not disciplining their children.
An uninvolved or neglectful parenting style is when parents are often emotionally absent and sometimes even physically absent. They have little or no expectation of the child and regularly have no communication. They are not responsive to a child's needs and do not demand anything of them in their behavioral expectations. If present, they may provide what the child needs for survival with little to no engagement. There is often a large gap between parents and children with this parenting style. Children with little or no communication with their own parents tended to be the victims of another child’s deviant behavior and may be involved in some deviance themselves. Children of uninvolved parents suffer in social competence, academic performance, psychosocial development and problem behavior.
Worried about how to be totally stress-free so you don’t pass on frazzled feelings? Don't be. Not all stress is harmful. The CDC sorts stress into three categories:
Toxic stress is the one that should concern you, says Sarah A. Keim, PhD, a pediatric expert at Nationwide Children’s Hospital in Columbus, OH. If you feel stressed out all the time, your baby may, too. Feeling anxious and pressured can also impact how you care for your child, Lansford says.
“It affects parents' well-being,” she says. “Stressed parents are less responsive to their infants' cues, and that less-sensitive caregiving is stressful to babies.”
Everyone has some stress. How you deal with it can help your baby’s emotional growth.
“A little stress gives us motivation, drive, and purpose,” Keim says. And if you have a healthy response to stress, your baby will mirror you.
What is Godh Bharai?
Godh Bharai also known as Baby shower is an auspicious occasion which is celebrated during the last trimester of pregnancy and is one of the most awaited occasions for the family members. The phrase “Godh Bharai” literally means filling the lap of expecting mother with abundance.
In India, pregnancy is celebrated with much grandeur and the grand party organized before the advent of the baby includes various Indian customs and rituals that are followed in different regions. This party-of-sorts is known as Godh Bharai or commonly called the Baby Shower. It is also known as Seemandam or Valakaapu in Tamil Nadu or Swad in Bengal and Dohale Jevan in Maharashtra. Pregnancy customs and traditions have been around for quite some time and are a significant part of our tradition and culture. Godh bharai is a special function organized for the expecting mother and her friends and relatives.
Godh Bharai though exciting and fun filled, yet can be taxing on mom-to-be. You need to make sure that you are dressed lightly. You could go for traditional attire till when the puja is being performed. After that just slip into something light and manageable.
You need to plan the arrangements one week in advance. Any kind of mental or physical stress could be harmful for your unborn baby too. Hence, it is advisable that you plan things well in advance and don’t hesitate to ask for help at this stage of pregnancy.
If you don’t have much help in organizing your Godh Bharai, a better option is to go for a Pot Luck where each guest comes with a dish. This is extremely convenient and you would not tire yourself out in preparing the food for the guests.
When is Godh Bharai Celebrated?
This occasion is usually celebrated after the completion of your seventh month, when the baby and you are considered to have entered into a safe zone.
Some people prefer to have a puja after the baby is born rather than having Godh Bharai in between. However, Godh Bharai is getting increasingly popular and a lot of friends and families are opting to celebrate it to cherish these wonderful memories later.
Although the godh bharai rituals in different states may vary, the significance remains the same. In a typical North Indian household, on the special day, the mom-to-be is adorned with new clothes, jewelry and flowers and then ushered in from the main entrance of the house towards the puja room. As she enters, women sing some traditional songs to make the her happy and cheerful. All the married ladies bless the mom-to-be by putting a tikka on her forehead, and then aartis are performed to pray for the health and happiness of the baby and the mother.
Godh Bharai in Tamil Nadu- Seemandam
In Tamil Nadu, a ceremony called Seemandam is organised during fifth, seventh or ninth month of pregnancy. In this ceremony, only married women are invited to bless the expecting mother. She is gifted a new saree by her in-laws. Turmeric is applied on her face and hands and her hair is decorated with flowers. A few drops of herbal juice are squeezed into the nostrils of the mom-to-be and mantras are chanted in order to bless and protect the baby.
Godha Bharai in Maharashtra- Dohale Jevan
During the seventh or ninth month of pregnancy, Dohale Jevan is organised in Marathi households. Dohale literally means 'craving for certain foods' and this ceremony is performed to satisfy the food cravings of the expectant mother. On this occasion, the expecting mother is adorned with flower garlands and made to sit near the puja area of the house.
Godh Bharai in Bengal- Swad
Swad translates to taste. Hence, this ceremony has something to do with the food in Bengal. Initially, this ritual was specially organised for ladies who had a tough pregnancy period. This custom originated in order to fulfill all the wishes of the expecting mother before she went into labour. However, now it has become more of a celebration, wherein the pregnant woman is gifted a new saree and jewellery by her mother or mother-in-law. A plateful of cooked fish head which is one of the most auspicious foods in Bengali tradition, five types of fried foods including banana fritters and Shukto are served on a huge silver platter.
Make the most of the early years of your child
Develop the habit of reading and love of learning in your child
Utilize the amount of time that your child spends at home more productively
Prepare your child for increasing competition
Raise a well-rounded, happy and successful individual